Why So Slutty?
iMessages Between Friends
“I bought this outfit today to make myself feel ‘slutty-better’…”
“Slutty does make us feel better, why is that?”
“Because it’s instant attention gratification.”
I wonder if this is true, or maybe just for my particular group of friends. We are somehow taught that in order to deal with whatever heartaches and loneliness we feel, we must be Beyonce. We must be fierce. We must be sexy. We must tell him: “To the left, to the left - everything you own in the box to the left.” There is no time for this mess of self loathing. We must feel hot and powerful, and somehow this hot and powerful translates to slutty. I don’t really get it either, but there it is. And with it comes a lot of love/hate. Is it demeaning to us? Or is it empowerment?
We say “eww” to the leering eyes, have low self-esteem when those same eyes aren’t grazing us, and we bask in the instant attention we are given. There are the moments when we certainly don’t want the attention, and other times when we command it. This being a chick thing is serious business.
I told myself that perhaps this year, I should start attempting to dress a little less slutty, a little more sultry/”More is less”. Yet today, my eyes gravitated towards the leopard print hot pants, gray lace bralette, and denim studded vest w/a sheer train. Where am I going to wear this? Certainly not Coachella, it will be ruined. Not outside on a work day. Do I even go to parties anymore? Still - I bought it… because I knew I looked hot in it and it made me feel better about my lonely day (not the fault of Valentines Day, mind you… it was just a really lonely day where none of my friends were free).
And so back to the question: why does slutty make us feel better? Why does being temporarily hot (cause Lord knows we have our moments… oh good God do we) matter? Why is calling it “slutty” more appealing to us than simply saying “hot” or “sexy”? I guess really what it comes down to is that we do want a little attention, otherwise we feel like we’re just another face. It’s just too bad we think that the best way to achieve that attention is through “looking slutty.” Maybe we should just rephrase it all together, because deep down my friends and I do like dressing up - for a man or ourselves (or other women). We don’t actually view ourselves as sluts (at least I don’t). Just the thought of dressing sexy and calling the look “slutty” makes it that much more lusty.
I’m bracing myself for varying feminist opinions.
[EDIT: The photo mentioned in the iMessages as well as the outfit I described is NOT the photo pictured, I’m saving that outfit for another day]